A PHOTO

darklittlefaun:

ouyangdan:

leggywillow:

truezodiacfact:

Moth pit

My reaction to this gif went from stone-faced “this is dumb” to full-on snickering gleefully in about fifteen seconds.

you can’t just drop shit like this on my dash i hurt myself laughing

Oh

A TEXT POST

z1c:

being 20+ on tumblr

image

Reblogged from PunkMonkSteven
A TEXT POST

solluxcraptor:

"you’re too cute to be single!"

then date me

Reblogged from whatever
A TEXT POST

tumblr didn’t ruin my life i was already a loser before i joined this website

Reblogged from should you?
A TEXT POST

7ns:

lookin at the booty like
image

Reblogged from love yourself
A CHAT
  • me: hey google what's up
  • google: did you mean the stratosphere?
  • me: that's my shit, google. anyway, you know where i can find them little hot dogs, the mini wieners they serve at weddings?
Reblogged from
A VIDEO

poppunkbrittatl:

This weeks American hero. 

Reblogged from Awesomesawws
A PHOTO

everythingisbetterwithabagofweed:

“Plenty of fish in the sea”

i never thought i’d identify with a shark.

A PHOTO

woodmeat:

chevy-raised-jack-daniels-fed:

merrymaudlin:

mercurykiss:

thugburrito:

My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%

NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
So a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.

It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.

An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.

So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.

My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.

I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..

What’s next pizza delivery hitmen

included in this order for a large ground beef is a dossier containing information on your target. he is to be neutralized before delivery. do not let him reach the airport. no pepperoni.

Reblogged from Insert Gnome Pun Here